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Mom?

Yes, sweetheart, I'm here.

Whoa, your mom's here?

Don't... Michael, relax. I'm here as an ally.

Hey, hey, hey, just...

Mom, you need to...

Sweetheart, now you're a champ.

You're an NBA champ, and it's time for you to lose your virginity.

Hey, sweetheart, you cannot go to the NBA unless you lose your virginity.

So you're going to have sex with my daughter and myself.

Wait, what?

Oh, yeah.

Both of you? Why?

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'll tell you why.

Because no self-respecting man would ever go to the NBA unless he loses his virginity.

I don't think that's a rule.

Oh, it is, honey. It's a rule of life.

What?

And not to mention, I'm fixed, so I can't get pregnant.

So what do you say? Two for one?

It's your lucky night, Michael.

So I get to come inside of you?

Yeah!

Oh, my God.

What do you think?

You're okay with this?

Totally okay with it.

Do you guys talk about this?

Maybe.

Yeah, there you go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you're a champ now, honey.

You're gonna take care of these balls, too.

Isn't that right, sweetie?

Yeah.

Yes, that is good.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

That feels so good.

...