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Here we all are then. Footballers wives, eh? God, look at you.

Hey, we're not on the training ground now, you know.

And neither was your husband last Wednesday either.

Now then, let's have a look.

Where the hell was he?

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Where?

He must have run around.

He must have run around.

If you can't keep track of him, you can't expect our coach to, can you?

Oh God, look at you. Come on, come on. Move along a bit.

Right. I thought it would be nice if we gathered the key players' wives for a little afternoon

so we could chat about the Premiership.

Ooh!

Yeah, Blueburn United in the Premiership.

And of course, being a Premiership club, with Premiership players and Premiership fans

and Premiership TV deals, we need Premiership wives, don't we?

I think so.

We do, yeah. You know, for Sunday supplements and all that kind of thing.

Now, your husband, the defender, not defending much at the moment, is he?

Really?

Are you keeping him up late?

A little bit.

A little bit, yeah.

Not doing anything to improve his ball handling skills, are you?

I've got good ball handling skills, though.

Have you? We'll see about that.

All right, so that's the defender, midfield.

Mid-bloody-field.

What have you had him doing?

Well, he's been a bit busy.

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